Demisexuality: What You Need to Know
Demisexuality is a sexual orientation. People who identify as demisexual feel sexual attraction to another person if they form a strong emotional attachment.
What is demisexuality?
People who feel sexual attraction only to those with whom they have developed a strong personal bond are known as demisexuals.
According to the Demisexuality Resource Center, demisexuals are less likely to engage in sexual activity than other people. For example, most people might be sexually attracted to other random people they meet. In some cases, this is simply based on physical attraction. However, a demisexual person feels sexual attraction only to the person with whom they feel a strong emotional attachment. Even when demisexuals feel sexually attracted to a person, sexual intercourse may not take place. Because these people have a weaker sex drive.
The emotional attachment that a demisexual person feels does not make the person romantically inclined. This bond may only be due to a platonic relationship. The time it takes for an emotional bond to develop can vary from person to person. Sometimes the bonding time is quite short, while in some people it may take years for this bond to develop. In either case, this attachment does not guarantee that the person will feel sexual attraction.
Some other sexual identities also show similarities with demisexuality, but there are some important differences.
A person who identifies as asexual has no sexual desire and no desire to have sex with other people. A demisexual person has little or no sexual desire for others. The main difference is that demisexual people can feel sexual desire and desire to have sex after they have developed an emotional bond with another person.
Unlike demisexuals, a person who identifies as gray-asexual rarely or less intensely experiences sexual attraction or a desire to engage in sexual activities. According to GRAAD (an organization working to promote transgender acceptance and rights), gray-asexuals can feel sexually attracted to them for a variety of reasons. Persons identified as gray-asexual:
- they rarely feel sexual desire
- Even in cases where there is sexual desire, the desire for sexual intercourse is low
- They may feel sexual desire for various reasons.
While gray-asexual and demisexual people both rarely experience sexual attraction, the main difference here is that gray-asexual people don’t necessarily require an emotional attachment to feel sexual attraction.
Demisexuality is also similar to sapiosexuality in some ways. The main similarity is that a person who identifies as a sapio is limited in the number of people who can feel attracted to them, such as a demisexual person.
The biggest difference, however, is that a person who identifies as sapiosexual is attracted to intelligent people. Emotional attachment is not an important factor here.
A person who identifies as pansexual may have sexual desire for anyone, regardless of their gender, sexual orientation or gender identity.
The level of attraction they feel towards people of different gender identities can vary. In other words, a person who identifies as pansexual may be more physically attracted to women but still find that they are sexually attracted to some men.
Why does demisexuality need a label?
Putting a label on a particular gender identity can help people feel included in a group and understand that they are not alone. Doing so can help them feel supported, support others, and be accepted.
Do demisexuals want to have sex?
Sexual acts and sexual attraction are different concepts.
A person who identifies as demisexual may feel sexual attraction to someone they are close to, but may not have a high sex drive or desire to engage in sexual activities with the person.
Just like other people, those who identify as demisexual may have different levels of sex drive, but generally, demisexual people have a desire to have sex.
Is it normal to want to have sex only after getting to know someone?
Most people can be sexually attracted to several different people at any given time, regardless of an emotional connection or degree of familiarity. A person’s desire to have sex with others is not limited to getting to know the other person.
Some people may choose to have sex only in a regular relationship, while others may want to have sex with someone they’ve just met. Both approaches to sex are perfectly normal.
A person who identifies as demisexual will develop sexual feelings towards the person only if they have close emotional bonds with that person. This sexual attraction does not mean that the person wants to engage in sexual activities with the other person.
A person who identifies as demisexual is likely to be less willing to engage in sexual activity than average. While asexual people abstain completely from sexual activities, a demisexual person can engage in sexual intercourse once an emotional attachment has been established.